…superpowers that can rip the sorry cape off of any Superhero. So, today, let’s find some humor in a “down-there” subject. A subject male doctors think they understand. And when symptoms are detected, they are known to cause significant others, small children and small dogs to howl, run away and shake in fear.
I’m naming it Meno-shit.
Medical science has made up all sorts of names for this cycle of a woman’s life. It’s as if they want all women, 30 to 100, to somehow be happily united in a Menopausal Kumbaya. Here are the volumes of facts in a nutshell:
The Peri Phase. Wait. What is this peri you speak of? Basically, it’s the “announcement” phase (that can start as young as 35 – sometimes younger!), where strange Sybil-shit starts eerily happening to your body and your occasional desire to rip out your ovaries overtakes all sense of reason and you silently seek to find and destroy the “other creepy woman” that hides inside of you. She makes her wicked and evil self magically appear when you least expect her. She’s a bitch.
The Pre Phase. Wait. Whoa! Doesn’t the term peri take care of this phase? Depends on what you read and how you’re feeling and who you want to kill. Next.
The Post Phase. Finally done, right? No. I’ve added a phase…a glorious phase.
The Zen-opause Phase. I believe that when it’s all said and done and you have come out on the other side, you are entitled to enter the Zen of Zen-opause. A pause in time. A pause in time that YOU CHOOSE – ON YOUR TERMS. It can be for “a time” or for the rest of your life. Here’s what it is. A time of remembering, honor, recognition and realization. Remembering your first period when you were 9 or 12 or 17 – whatever age. Honoring your body for the children you may or may not have brought into the world. Recognizing what you were able to accomplish through any of the Sybil-shit you experienced over the years. And coming to new realizations about how strong you were, are, and will be, as you go forward with new life Zen-itudes.
By the age of 46, I was fortunately done with all of the horrible Meno-shit and am now basking in my Zen-opause developing new Zenitudes. It took me until this week to gather those realizations about myself.
So, no matter what your age or phase of life, if you are reading this…I hope that each Zen-itude brings a smile to your face, a chuckle in your body and a feeling of comradery between us.
Zenitude for today:
Get through the peri, pre, and post meno-shit and look forward to your Zen-opause.